I walked to lunch today fully intending to start my book(Love Drugged by James Klise) and only halfway intending to eat lunch. I stood in line for a ridiculous amount of time and then finally got my food. Then I sat down at the table I usually sit at. I know everyone there, but I don't really talk to them. I sort of just sit there and occasionally eavesdrop on the conversations if they're interesting while lending out my rations of hushpuppies and milk. Which is fine by me.
So, I sit down and begin to eat when I notice what's going on beside me. A friend of mine is fully engaged in a ridiculous rant towards my other friend, while my other friend is either trying to get her two cents in or laughing. I would be laughing too, because really the ranting thing can be kinda funny sometimes, if it wasn't for what she was actually saying.
The situation seemed to be that my friend wants to have sex but her insurance doesn't cover birth control. Her friend is yelling at her about how you have to be using condoms and birth control unless you're prepared to have a baby because you will get pregnant. She says that if she gets pregnant then she'll have to have the baby because abortion is not an option. She even goes as far to say that sex really shouldn't be a thing she wants to do anyways, claiming that most girls don't like it and that since she's a virgin, the first time will hurt and she will bleed. She should just do things like oral sex instead.
My friend(the one getting yelled at) saw me looking on and said "I think Jade wants to say something." I did, I really did want to say something. However, I didn't want to seem rude, so all I did was offer some safety information. You know, thinks like condoms are 98% effective if used and stored correctly and birth control is 99.9% effective if used correctly. Together, they are quite an amazing team, so if you can you should use them both. But if you can't, condoms are still highly effective in preventing pregnancy and STI's. My friend high-fived me and said "Exactly." I guess it was refreshing to not have someone freaking out about the situation.
After my friend went to go get her lunch, I had a brief conversation with my other friend that ranted. It went like this:
"How old is she?"
"Twenty."
I shrugged, "It's her decision."
"Yea, but I'm just trying to beat this into her brain so she doesn't make any mistakes. She needs to be on birth control."
"Some people have different safety standards."
"I'm not having sex now, I'm not ready. I'm waiting until I get married, I need to be absolutely sure that I'm not going to get pregnant. If you're not ready to get pregnant, you need to be as cautious as possible."
This, I was alright with. Because these were her safety standards that she was using to make her decisions. I can agree with being as safe as possible, meaning birth control and condoms and getting tested regularly. These are all good, responsible things you should do for yourself. However, what I was not okay with was the was she over-exaggerated information and even provided false information in order to scare her friend away from having sex(in much the same way that abstinence only until marriage programs do).
I want to give some more appropriate advice to people wanting to have sex:
*DO: Be as safe as possible. If there's any way you can be on birth control and use condoms, do it! But if you can't, make sure you use condoms and, in case of emergency, can get Plan B. Condoms are 98% effective in preventing pregnancy and STI transmission if you wear them right and have the right size. You can even use female condoms, which you can wear up to 8 hours before sex. The odds will not be in the sperms favor!
*Please don't tell your lady friends whether they can or can't get an abortion, unless it's literally not an option in your state. Abortion is an option, and it is a legit option in most places whether you agree with it or not. Your lady friends can make their own decisions about their body's.
*GIRLS CAN LOVE SEX!!! They really can! It's a real, natural thing! The clitoris is made EXPLICITLY FOR SEXUAL PLEASURE. It has 8,000 nerve endings, whereas the penis has only 4,000. Girls are actually more equipt to feel sexual pleasure than men are.
*Your first time shouldn't hurt any significant amount, or at all, as long as you go slow. Meaning, lots of foreplay to make sure you're getting all kinds of lubricated. Speaking of, lube is your friend. Make sure you have some on hand in case you need it. Bleeding is actually not typical among virgins, and if it happens it's usually because the woman was not aroused or lubricated enough during intercourse.
*Even if you're just having oral or anal sex, STIs can still be transmitted. If you and your partner are not clean use condoms or dental dams, in the case of oral sex involving a vagina.
I think concerned friends are super rad. But I think false sex ed is super bad. Just like my rhymes! It upsets me that the majority of young women are not given realistic sex ed advice. We are taught abstinence and all of the bad things about sex, or even nothing at all. Unless you are inclined to do your own research, or are comfortable enough to take about sex with a knowledgeable friend, family member, or doctor you normally are not properly educated about sex. I hope that one day I can help break the barriers of communication about sex, and provide positive, and, I would hope, correct sex ed to young people. Or, really, people in general.
~Jade~
No comments:
Post a Comment